compromises are going to have to be made. “Certain latitude that you’ve enjoyed with your independence at college or from temporarily living out on your own is going to need to have some give and take,” says Nicholas Aretakis, author of No More Ramen: The 20-Something’s Real World Survival Guide. A crucial part in co-existing peacefully is open, two-sided communication. Parents need to be upfront about the conditions for moving home and realistic about when the time will be for the student to move out. “They’ve got to have a pre-agreement; set up what are the rules and expectations,” says Dr. Gregory Jantz, psychologist and author of How to De-Stress Your Life. “This is a short term solution--don’t plan on coming back and living at home for years.” Jantz says it is important students express gratitude and appreciation; even if the situation is not ideal, don’t project anger and frustration on the people who are helping out.   You’re Never Too Old for Chores You might have a college degree, but you’re never too old for chores. Young adults should make sure to help around the house without being asked. Depending on the situation, grads can offer to pick up groceries or help with the mortgage or rent. Contributing something, either literally or symbolically, is the responsible thing to do and shows initiative, says de Baca. “It’s important that parents and children have a discussion about what kind of remuneration is important,” she says.  “[Contributing financially] might actually be necessary--the parents might actually really need it.” Be on the Hunt  Students without a job or contemplating returning to school should be actively seeking opportunities and treat their search like a full-time job. Aretakis says that the least a child can do is let their parents know what’s going on in their life and that they do have some direction for their future. “Parents would also like to know that the money spent on their children’s education was put to good use and that they’re actually trying to apply themselves,” he says. Don’t Fall Back in Time Moving back home certainly has its positives: a fully-stocked fridge, home-cooked meals, laundry and for some, rent-free living.  “A lot of times when we move back home, emotionally we might regress to a younger age,” says Jantz.  “It’s really easy sometimes to allow yourself to be re-mothered and depending on the parenting style, you could have a mom that will take care of everything again. I don’t think that’s going to be helpful.” If grads are feeling the sting of a tough job market after spending so much time and money on school, there can be a feeling of shame and poor self esteem. In addition, the sudden loss of independence can cause a lot of kids to feel hopeless and give up, says Aretakis. “They’re less enthusiastic, less aggressive with pursuing a career, and with really having a sense of responsibility,” he says. “They just accept that their parents are going to continue to provide that financial umbilical cord.” What Parents Can Do